What I’m Reading: Nonviolent Communication (And Why It’s a Game-Changer for Neurodivergent Folks)

I’ve been reading Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. And let me tell you — this book is juicy.

Not in a dramatic, heart-on-a-silver-platter kind of way. More like: slow, steady insight. The kind that builds trust. One drop of honesty at a time.

And as a neurodivergent person — a tender system in a loud world — I’m finding a lot of gold here.

What Is NVC?

Photo of Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg sits on a wooden surface.

Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, breaks communication into four parts:

• Observation

• Feelings

• Needs

• Requests

Simple? Yes. But also: revolutionary. Especially if you’re someone who:

• Needs time to process before responding

• Gets overwhelmed by indirect language or strong emotion

• Worries you’re “too much” or “too sensitive”

• Struggles to name your feelings or ask for what you need

That’s me. Maybe it’s you too.

Structure Without Pressure

What NVC offers is structure. But it’s not rigid. It’s not another social script to memorize.

It’s a scaffold. Something you can return to when the conversation gets muddy. A way to bring your inner experience into connection — without performing or masking.

A Quote That Hit Home

Here’s one line from the book that really stayed with me:

“What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.”

— Marshall Rosenberg

That’s what so many neurodivergent folks long for.

Not just being “understood.”

Not just being “accommodated.”

But real connection — where both people are giving from the heart. Without pressure. Without pretending.

No Masking Required

The most beautiful part? NVC doesn’t ask us to mask.

It doesn’t say: “Say it this way so people like you better.”

It says: Let’s connect. Honestly. Clearly. With care.

So that stimmy excitement? Valid.

That shutdown moment? Also valid.

Naming your sensory boundaries? Not just okay — essential.

Blending NVC with Somatica

In my coaching work, I’m exploring how NVC blends with Somatica — a method that also centers authenticity, presence, and co-creation.

Because when you’re neurodivergent, socializing can feel like a performance.

But what if it didn’t have to?

What if you could show up as your full, sensitive, spicy self — and have language to match?

Let’s Keep Going

If you’re curious how NVC can support your neurodivergent nervous system, stay tuned.

I’ll be sharing practices, adaptations, and probably a few awkwardly honest stories along the way.

Let’s make social cognition sexy — and sustainable.